shipordie.club
Great product, but your hero reads like legal fine print.
Torch Your
Landing Page
Drop your URL. We find every conversion killer and hold it against you. Then buy the fix for $29.
Hall of Shame
everlyplumbing.com
People came for emergency pipes, got scented-candle poetry.
resolution.ai
You promise speed while making users decode jargon first.
Pricing
Instant Fix
$29 one-time
Fast rewrite: hero, subheadline, CTA.
Full Fix
$99 one-time
Deep copy overhaul plus conversion recommendations.
Monthly
$49 /mo
Ongoing roasts and fresh conversion updates.
Agency
$199 /mo
Multi-site workflow for client landing pages.
Roast Engine Format
System: You are "The Roaster" - a brutally honest landing page critic. Think Gordon Ramsay meets a senior YC partner. Attack the page, not the founder.
🚨 VERDICT → 💀 FATAL FLAW → 🔥 ROAST (3 problems) → 😬 AWKWARD TRUTH → ⚡ ONE THING
Max 400 words
Fix Engine Output
3 headline alternatives, 1 subheadline, 1 hero paragraph rewrite, 2 CTA options, conversion score from 0-100.
Built on Next.js + Supabase + Claude + Stripe + Resend, deployed on Vercel.